Lifted On A Mad Wind
by Urethane
Summary: With an obsession for art, books and knowledge, one might have thought that he was a dilettante, a lover of the fine arts. Not only that, but he was also a certified terrorist and slightly insane, but that was just him being a loving older brother. !DarkOlderAkatsukiExplosionReleaseNaruto !LittleBroDeidara !femAkatsukiMembers !harem
1. A Preview

_**TESTFICTESTFICTESTFICTESTFICTESTFICTESTFICTESTFICTESTFICTESTFICTESTFICTEST**_

 _Hey friends and fans, I'm alive! Japan didn't get to kill this author!_

But I digress; this is a fic I came up with after playing years of DotA 2 (Outworld Devourer) and seeing occasionally seeing Deidara's title as the 'Mad Bomber'.

 _The problem with this fic is that…_

 _Well, I'll let you read the fic first, then at the bottom there's another important AN, way more important that this one and will dictate how the story plays out._

Also, this is yet to be confirmed but for this fic, would anyone like to see !femItachi and !femSasori?

If you'd like to see !femItachi, !femSasori, tell me, I really love seeing the Female Akatsuki Members (picture in bio), they're super adorable!

* * *

 _ **PREVIEW**_

* * *

Sitting precariously on the edge of a cliff surrounded by a sea of sand, Naruto hung his legs off the side, swinging them back and forth mindlessly as he rummaged through his thoughts. He brushed his hair backwards absently, only for it to fall back to his eye level, its weight and mass making the teen look like an unkempt ruffian, albeit a rather handsome, unkempt ruffian.

"Ruminating, Naruto?" A vicious ear-grating voice broke his train of thought. The shaggy haired blonde blinked his one visible eye before turning to his hunchbacked companion, Sasori. Meeting the hunchback's narrowed eyes with his own blue one, he smiled.

"Ah, Sasori!" Naruto stood up, overshadowing the puppeteer, their black cloaks billowing in the wind. "I guess I could be." He shrugged, "I was just thinking about my little brother, Deidara-chan, un." Naruto scratched his head awkwardly, "I hope he's alright by himself, hopefully he's made a few friends already, Lord knows he hates me to death." Naruto sighed sadly at the end, dearly hoping his adorable little brother didn't want to strangle him with his guts.

"I find it interesting that you still care about your little brother despite all that you did to him."

"I'll have you know that I did all that to help him, hm!" Naruto bristled in anger from the puppeteer's words, his lone eye narrowing, glaring right into Sasori's own eyes. Even the scope that covered his other eye seemed to zoom into Sasori's puppet's face angrily. "Everything I've ever done was to help Deidara-"

"-And I never said that what you did was bad for him." Sasori cut him off, the giant metallic tail swooping out from under the sweeping cloak. The thin, razor sharp edge placed itself under his throat swiftly, daring him to continue. Naruto didn't even flinch.

Well, okay, maybe a little bit.

A twitch at most. He had seen countless of people getting impaled by that fucking thing. Shit was sharp as hell!

Emotionlessly, she began to explain her words. "He might think that what you did was bad, but when you strip the flesh away and leave the bones of your actions, he would have realised that all you did was save him from a life of slavery and solitude." The tail retracted, back into the darkness of the cloak as if it never existed. Naruto released his anger before reaching into his pouch, grabbing a small chunk of the pliable solid. Soon, the familiar taste of clay filled his mouth briefly before he pulled his hand back out, still in a fist. In the middle of his closed palm, a slit opened, and a tongue rolled out, spitting out the clay it had eaten into his enclosed hand. A rather grotesque sight, seeing as normal people didn't have mouths sewn onto their hands, complete with tongue and teeth.

The tongue had moulded and crafted the clay masterfully, adding his explosive chakra into the mix and forming the shape of a small bird. Tossing the bird high up into the air, he began forming the sign of half a ram, allowing his chakra to channel into the bird, allowing the falling bird to grow in size.

As it dropped past the cliff's edge, Naruto waited for a second before the bird came back up, suddenly sentient. It was one of the abilities the Iwa Kinjutsu provided him, giving him the ability to breathe life into his little clay creatures, giving each and every one of his creatures a different set of skills.

Spiders and flies were used for stealth. Birds, grass-hoppers and other fast insects were used for quick attacks. His bigger animals were used for large-scale bombings as well as for transportation, such as the bird that he had currently created.

Releasing the flow of chakra, Naruto put his hand back down before looking at Sasori, nodding towards the large clay creature. Sasori grunted before skilfully hopping onto the enlarged -three-man sized- bird, an impossible feat considering the stout size of Sasori's puppet armour. Naruto soon followed, jumping behind the brutish puppeteer. The bird began to flap its white wings before taking off to the skies, gliding along the clouds.

He sniffed and he rubbed his nose; uncovered eye darting to Sasori's hunched back. "We going anywhere in particular?"

"Leader-sama assigned us to do bounties, perhaps one from Kiri." Sasori said firmly, still looking ahead, ignoring his look. "Now let us proceed." Naruto sighed at his companion's lack of speech; collapsing onto the bird's back while looking up to sky, blue meeting blue.

"Hm, Are you ever going to come out of that shell?"

Sasori thought about it briefly, "… Maybe. When I'm comfortable."

"What?" Naruto protested as he leaned upwards, his elbows supporting his back. "I'm not comfortable to be around? I'm great, un!" Naruto pouted at Sasori.

"You're also insane." He smiled at Sasori's short response.

' _Sasori didn't deny that I was great, score!'_ He grinned before replying. "Fair enough, but whom in the Akatsuki isn't?"

"Hh." Sasori relented, finding his answer to be quite true. But amongst all of the Akatsuki members, even the blood thirsty Hidan of all people, Naruto had an obsession with not only art, but knowledge. Comparable to even one of the Sannin, Orochimaru, whose greed for the mastery of all jutsu known to Shinobi-kind was but a tiny little dot to Naruto's massive craving of all kinds books. He was a complete bibliomaniac.

Every kind of book that he could get his hands on, he would read as soon as he could. The blonde was a literal walking library of knowledge containing all kinds of passages from books, spanning a whole variety of genres including literature, poetry, biographies, encyclopaedias, art, science, from fiction to non-fiction.

Whenever he got into battle, his persona changed. Gone would be the cheerful, idiotic and playful face, replaced with one of utter insanity, a mad grin on his face as he blew his foes apart. A lust for proving that he was better, both mind and skill, than those he faced up against.

Even now… Sasori's eyes darted to the corner, the peripherals the puppet provided showing that Naruto was busy reading a book about Medical Ninjutsu, the book covering the sun from his face as he read. It was but one he had just unsealed from a seal on scroll he carried. A rather helpful tome of knowledge he had bought off a merchant, seeing as he was always in the presence of explosives that could blow a limb of two off was he to mess up in a fight. He could be his own enemy sometimes.

Sasori had witnessed his fits first hand during their partnership. Even stranger was that Sasori was stronger than Naruto, and had beaten him multiple times in realistic spars, forcing the blonde to admit that the ex-Suna Nin was stronger than him. And yet the blonde was strangely civil, if not overly friendly to the master puppeteer. Sasori had no idea what brought upon the niceness when he usually fumed over his losses and concocted plans to get stronger, but guessed that it boiled down to having someone that appreciated some form of art, despite their differences, inside of the criminal organisation.

It was also the reason why he developed the scope on his left eye, something he created after losing more than a handful of times to his long-time _(best)_ friend and rival, Uchiha Itachi. The scope on his eye provided long-range observation, and he had trained the eye itself to counter genjutsu, allowing him to see through and negate them. When he did this, his visible pupil would contract. It still wasn't able to fight off Itachi's Sharingan, but he was still trying to improve it as much as he could with the big brain he held behind that thick skull of his.

Speaking of art, Sasori did find it rather, for a lack of a better word, nice, to have another art-lover, and was originally startled when Naruto rushed in front of Hiruko's -the puppet's- face, asking what kind of art Sasori did, wondering if it was anything like his and if they shared the same ideology on art. Unfortunately for the blonde, Sasori did not have the same thoughts about the art-form, to make matters worse -or better?-, Leader-sama had paired both of them up together, so Naruto was constantly trying to show off his art style of, and the puppeteer quotes, ' _beauty of that single fleeting moment of explosion'_ in an attempt to change Sasori's orientation of preserving the beauty eternally.

"Kiri's in a few hours, un." He spoke up to Sasori, not looking away as he still read his book. "Might want to get a few winks in before we arrive."

Sasori looked back to the horizon; the overhead sun casting the puppeteer's bent shadow onto the bird's wide back. "Don't worry, I don't sleep much…" Certainly not, considering Sasori's body was comprised literally of a core that supported the puppeteer's life, very tough wood and weapons of mass destruction. Sasori was not hindered by fatigue but could get chakra exhaustion.

"Eh," He shrugged, lifting his head up to look at Sasori's back, "Then you can take first shift," He yawned loudly with his partner snorting softly at his action, "Wake me up whenever you want to take a nap." He placed the book onto his face before placing his hands under his head in a relaxation position.

"How do I steer this… creature?" Sasori asked the blonde, who was just hanging on to the verge of consciousness.

"Huh? Oh, don't worry… The bird knows how to get to Kiri. Probably… Maybe… I don't- _ughh_ …" He trailed off, suddenly falling asleep. Sasori's head shook at the blonde words, holding on tightly onto the bird as they glided through the big blue skies of Suna, straight towards the elusive and shrouded Kirigakure for their next bounty…

One of the _Kiri no Shinobigatana Shichinin Shū,_ or rather, the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist.

"I have a feeling that you'll like this one, Naruto." Sasori muttered quietly, the words vanishing in the wind as they soared.

* * *

In the mist of Kirigakure, a lone figure stood with one hand on a cigarette while the other rested on the hilt of a bulky and blunt sword. Puffing out a small cloud of smoke, the figure breathed deeply, wondering just where the scouts that he was supposed to meet up with were at.

"Tch," He spat, "Fucking kids these days… I'll teach them a lesson when they fucking get here." Shaking his head, he took another puff from the cigarette before dropping the smoking stub onto the ground, stepping on it with the sole of his sandal.

The figure was clearly a man, approximately in his late twenties and had an eyepatch covering his left eye, sprouting from beneath his Kirigakure forehead protector. He also had long, brown hair, a long beard which he wore in strands adorned with beads and his lips were also noticeably dark in colour.

"They'll realise not to make Munashi Jinpachi wait on them." He sneered, "Maybe I'll show them _Shibuki's (Splash)_ explosions up close and personal. A limb should suffice for the time spent waiting for them." Jinpachi grinned, showing off his sharpened teeth.

Suddenly, a rather ominous feeling began filling the misty air of the area. A chill went down his spine, his violet eye darting left and right, trying to find the source of his unease. He hadn't survived this long, in Kiri no less, by being so careless. No, whenever he was assigned missions, he would keep his eye on both the enemy and his teammates, no telling when they would stab him in the back just to take his blastsword and place in the Seven Swordsmen.

Had Jinpachi known what was coming, he certainly wouldn't have come out of bed today.

A few whistles were the only warning he got before a flurry of white birds came soaring through the mist straight at him. Not one to ignore such a strange sight, Jinpachi sprang into action. With finesse one would not expect from his thin frame, Jinpachi grabbed Shibuki and swung the blunt sword at the incoming bird, unfurling a long roll of paper from the action.  
 _  
"Bakutō Jutsu: Happa Rokujūshi (Blastsword Technique: Blasting Bridle Repeating Death)!"_

The explosive paper surrounded the birds before a massive explosion shook the area, dust scattering from the blast zone and going high up into the air. Jinpachi slid backwards, holding Shibuki in a manner that would protect his body from any fast moving shrapnel or debris from the explosion. It was a common manoeuvre for the Jonin to perform, seeing as he used explosives as his main source of fighting.

But those birds… His violet eye narrowed, scanning the mist for any signs of enemies or said birds. He had never seen such a thing. They certainly weren't real birds considering the lack of detail they had, with black round eyes and the lack of feathers was rather obvious.

Growling, he bared his shark-like teeth and raised one hand, muttering the Seven Swordsmen's signature technique.

 _"Kirigakure no Jutsu."_ The fog began to get heavier, and this time ensuring his attacker had no idea where he was. As the mist was quickly shrouding the area, Jinpachi made haste in vanishing into the mist as he prepared Shibuki, ready and awaiting to wipe his attacker off the face of the world in the form of a grand explosion.

* * *

Hovering above Jinpachi were the two members of the Akatsuki, still riding the large clay bird. As the Shibuki's explosion went off, the large bird strafed to the left, avoiding the hail of rocks and dirt that came from down below. Naruto squatted and leaned forwards, looking over the side of the bird for the target, spotting him still safe and sound, if not confused, away from the blast zone.

"Drat. He's fast. I don't like him, not one bit." Naruto frowned, eyeing the figure in the mist, as well as his unique sword. "That blastsword interests me though… An infinite supply of explosive paper sounds great! Maybe I can keep it as a souvenir…" Naruto said, but his thoughts were much different than his words. _'I wonder if Deidara-chan can lift that thing... Eh, if that skinny guy can, that little trap can too. Hopefully, he likes his new birthday present.'_

Sasori turned to look at Naruto, "I presume that you want to do this by yourself? Trying to prove yourself to me?" Sasori spoke rather sarcastically, a rarity considering the fact that the puppet master was usually emotionless.

The blonde smiled, "Hm. Yeah, you wish." Naruto chuckled before reaching back into his pouch for more clay, allowing the Kinjutsu to add his explosive release into the material as he moulded more clay. "Say, what's he doing out here all alone? Was he meeting up with someone, hn?"

"Yes, but not to worry. I've already taken care of them, merely a bunch of frightful Genins, absolutely no use for my collection of eternal art." Sasori said with pride. Below them, Naruto grimaced when more mist began to flood the battlefield. Both of them knew that Jinpachi would lose this fight, considering the man couldn't use his weapon to hit them, limiting the man down to only Suiton Jutsus.

Naruto hummed along with his senior's words, barely paying attention as he just barely scouted out Jinpachi through the thick shroud.

"Eternal, Schme-ternal. You wouldn't know true art if it hit you in the face." Seeing as his prey decided to hide and bid his time, Naruto would, in turn, flush him out of hiding. Sasori noted that his demeanor changed, alerting the Akatsuki member that Naruto had lost it again temporarily.

Shaking his head disappointingly, Naruto's visage morphed into one of annoyance, ticked off that his opponent wasn't fighting back. "Tsk, trying to hide? I'll show you that no one hides from my little toys! From true art!"

Pulling one of his hands out from the pouch, Naruto chucked the clay that he was moulding down towards the ground, scattering them around in the form of medium sized pellets while the other hand tossed larger balls high up into the air, with them sprouting the usual black eyes, wings and fangs as he snapped his fingers. The pellets were specially made to force his enemies out of hiding through scare tactics. The flying balls on the other hand were bats and very much similar to birds, albeit much more slower in terms of speed, trading the movement for a bigger bang.

Naruto grinned maniacally as they disappeared under the heavy, damp blanket.

 _"Art... is an EXPLOSION! BOMBS AWAAAAY!"_

* * *

 **AN (PLEASE READ): THIS IS A TEST FIC, I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS BUT WOULD LIKE TO CONTINUE IT. HOPEFULLY SOME OF YOU CAN GIVE ME SOME ADVICE.**

 **IT WILL BE SLIGHTLY SIMILAR TO MY OTHER AKATSUKI FIC: TToK, ONLY WITH DIFFERENT PAIRINGS AND CHARACTERS.**

 **I have a few ideas on how to make it so that Naruto gets the Kinjutsu from Iwa.**

Please review these options and pick accordingly:

A) Naruto is son of Minato and Kushina, and Deidara is his little brother. After the Kyuubi is sealed, Naruto ran to search for help with baby Deidara in his arms and was eventually taken by Iwa scouts, who decided to take him to Oonoki to be raised as one of their own given his powerful heritage, sealing his memories away until eventually the seal breaks in an accident. Then Naruto takes Deidara and leaves, returning to Konoha, when he regains his old memories.

Deidara is the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi in this case.

B) Born in Iwa to completely different parents/some other way. Deidara is still little brother and is the Jinchuuriki of the Gobi. Naruto takes Deidara away and runs from Iwa –and steals the Kinjutsu as well- to avoid the mistreatment they would give baby Deidara, going to Konoha for refuge. *Later on, he betrays Konoha and 'joins' the Akatsuki to protect Deidara. (this is similar to TToK, except in this one, he pretty much cares only for Deidara/Love interests.)

C) Maybe one of you can think up a better introduction.

If you like what you have read so far, I have to ask you to review in order to get your opinion.

 _Thanks again for reading!_

 _Review if you'd like me to continue or not. Your opinions actually matter a lot to me._


	2. Escape From Iwa!

_**Many years ago.**_

* * *

 _ **BWOOOM!**_

* * *

 _The world lit up for the citizens of Iwa who were awake and the escapees themselves, the continent of Earth Country shaking slightly as the bomb went off. Waves upon waves of howling winds lashed around, rushing down every silent street, kicking up anything and everything that wasn't secured down to the ground away into the night skies. Clothes of all kinds scattered away from the blast zone, some of them scorched and burnt. The fulmination sent chunks of debris sky-high, smoke going up into the dark sky as an indication of the blast site. Illuminating the night were the flames that engulfed most of the empty city block, every single one of which were desolate due to one of the two inhabitants that lived in a small house, the Jinchuuriki of the Yonbi, fearing that they would die first were the Yonbi to break free from its host._

 _Two shadows danced along the ground, one tall and the other short, belonging to a teen and a child respectively. The taller one shielded the smaller one from the falling debris, ignoring the shrapnel that hit the back of his skull and neck, choosing to take the pain in order to protect his little brother. Scampering down an alley, Naruto grunted as a rather sharp piece of ceramic, from a roof tile he guessed, came down and slashed the side of his forehead. He uncaringly wiped the blood away, turning to his brother._

 _"We're going into Plan B!" Naruto yelled as they scrambled down to the western side of Iwa. The slums of the city would provide them a perfect cover. It was unkempt and dirty like Naruto's hair, and equally long as Deidara's high ponytail. Wading through sewage would be the least of their problems if the Tsuchikage caught his wayward apprentice and the Jinchuuriki of the Gobi deserting the village._

 _"And what's that?!" His little brother screamed to him, ears ringing from the deafening explosion. Naruto quickly ducked, pulling Deidara down into cover as a squad of Iwa shinobi passed by to check the explosion. Leaning back against the wall, Deidara watched as Naruto un-slung his bag from his shoulder, placing it on the tiny rocks that littered the dirt grounds of Iwa._

 _"Un! Let's see here..." Naruto trailed off as he reached into his backpack's front pocket, pulling out and opening up his notebook to find the page he had written his plans down upon. On the second page, there were two words he didn't recall writing. Simply and hastily written, the elder brother read aloud the plan's instructions._

 _"Hn. 'Plan B: Don't die'." before frowning. Well, that wasn't helpful at all! Curse himself for not giving himself more specific instructions. He flipped to another page before grimacing as he reread his plans out loud. "Let's hope we don't get to 'Plan C: Ensure that your (my) testament makes it to next of kin', hm."_

 _"Bu-But I'm your next of kin!" Deidara sputtered and turned to his taller and equally blonde brother, grabbing his big brother's purple Iwa armour, his slanted blue eyes wide as they frantically took down each and every feature of the face he might not see ever again. "Y-you can't die, Naruto-nii! You have to come with me!"_

 _"Oi, oi! Calm down Dei-chan, you'll get us caught! Un!" Naruto whispered harshly, the little boy flinching at his tone. Seeing Deidara's obvious distress, Naruto sighed and wiped his face clear of any sign of panic, hoping that it would calm him down._

 _"Look Dei-chan," He smiled at the hyperventilating child who looked him in the eyes. Cupping his cheeks caringly, Naruto pressed his forehead against his little brother's, forcing both their eyes to close, eyelashes tickling each other's eyelids._

 _"If anything happens to you, I don't think I could forgive myself, un. I know I can't coddle you forever, but just let me do my job as your big brother, your Naruto-nii, will ya? I still want to take care of my little bro, Un! Besides, I'll come back to you in the end, whether it be today, tomorrow or in the far, far future. Hm! And that's a promise."_

 _Placing a giant kiss on the younger boy's head, he detached himself with a loud pop, placing all of his love and care in one sweet action._

 _Deidara sniffled, wiping the tears that ran down his cheeks. He didn't want his Naruto-nii to go away. The older boy was everything to Deidara, a role model as well as an emotional pillar keeping him from going completely insane in a village that gave him the stink eye everywhere he went. Ever since he was old enough to understand that their parents had given them away seeing as how the village had chosen their children to be the Yonbi and Gobi's new host, Deidara had immediately began to rage inside. A pustulous wound, untreated as it festered in the dark recesses of his mind, hatred at how people that were supposed to take care of them, that gave birth -life!- to him and his Nii-chan abandoned them! Left them for dead! It was just incomprehensible to the boy. Fortunately for Naruto, the Gobi was sealed into another person, a huge and silent man by the name of Han, but unfortunately the Yonbi was still sealed into his baby brother. So little Deidara had the right to fear his older brother leaving him, thinking that he was a monster should he lose control of the Yonbi._

 _And then he began to fear that his Nii-chan would disappear too, gone like his no good parents. What if he didn't want him anymore? What if he died if Deidara lost control of the Yonbi? He would lose the only person that ever loved him in the entire world! Such thoughts had made Deidara want to get closer to his big brother and the boy might have developed a big brother complex from doing so as well. To be fair, Naruto was quite the looker with his perfectly tanned skin, shaggy blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. Even now, golden hair covered in soot, bleeding from the corner of his head and dirty as all hell, he still looked handsome in Deidara's eyes._

 _When he was forced to live alone, Naruto had willingly came and stayed with him despite the Tsuchikage's feelings about the situation._

 _But all of this, all that they were currently doing, made Deidara know that his brother had absolutely no intention of leaving him behind._

 _"Believe in your big bro okay? We can make it out of this just fine. You hear me?" Deidara nodded, his ponytail bobbing along with the action. "Good." He licked his dry lips nervously. He could sense hundreds of shinobi marching in from the other parts of Iwa to check in on the now ruined district. They were running out of time soon and would need another distraction._

 _"Now, I've scouted the area up ahead for months now, and I've found an exit that you can access, un." He swallowed thickly, "You understand, yeah?"_

 _"Yeah… Yeah." Deidara nodded, sniffling._

 _"Good, now follow my instructions okay?" The ponytailed blonde nodded again, "Go straight down this alley," Naruto pointed to his left, "And then take a right, you'll meet a brick wall with metal bars leading to the sewer. Don't worry, you can pull the bars out easily and then just go down the hole and into the sewer- **!** " A clank rang down the alleyway. Naruto's head snapped left and for a second, Deidara thought that they had been caught. No, a rat simply scampered away into the darkness, knocking over a can in the process. "We don't have much time. Just go straight and take your first left, then your next right and then your right again, you should find a tunnel that'll take you directly outside of Iwa."_

 _"Okay…" Deidara closed his eyes for a second, recalling his brother's instructions. 'Right. Straight. Left. Right. Right. Exit.' The boy recited in his head, "Okay… Wh-What about you, Nii-chan?"_

 _Naruto smiled passionately at his little look alike, "I'll catch you on the other side." Then his kindly eyes turned… mad, if Deidara would describe it. Pulling the black gloves off of his hands, Naruto tossed them over his shoulder and then grinned as he stared at his palms._

 _"But first, I've got a few toys to leave behind for our guests..."_

* * *

 _Ōnoki, the Sandaime Tsuchikage, went up to the Jonin Commander of Iwa, Hajime Hyotaru, a frown on his face. The lanky man with a short beard looked rather scared of the Tsuchikage, with good reason too!_

 _He had been forcefully awoken, a huge blast wiping out part of his village, even worse, the blast came from the direction of the Yonbi container. He could not afford losing one of his valuable weapons now; it would severely cripple his village and the threats he could give out, having only a single Jinchuuriki to back his words up._

 _"Tell me something I want to hear, Commander." Ōnoki frowned, staring up at the taller man's eyes. The man looked unsure for a second before reporting what they had apparently found._

 _"Tsuchikage-sama, we just received the report from the investigation team, which showed that the gas line to your apprentice and the Yonbi Jinchuuriki's house was ruptured, and apparently the source of the explosion came from the kitchen. We can only assume that they were trying to cook something for a supper when one of them turned on the fire… And, ah, well, exploded."_

 _Ōnoki withheld a sigh. It was quite common for those who held the Explosion Release to go out with a bang, but usually it was caused by their own powers, through suicide or accidentally blowing themselves up, not through freak accidents! He swore to the divine lord, if one of the villagers had cut the damn line just to kill the 'demon' that lived in the house, there was going to be hell to pay._

 _Why, oh why did he allow that damn brat to live with his Jinchuuriki brother. Oh, yes, he remembered. It was because Naruto was exceptionally talented Shinobi, and was also his apprentice. The boy had threatened him, him! Of all people, that if he didn't allow him to stay with Deidara in isolation, he would quit being a Shinobi. Not wanting to lose such a gem, he allowed Deidara to live in the confines of Iwa in the poorer districts, where many left to find a new place to stay at after seeing the Jinchuuriki of the Yonbi being sent to their area. Naruto had gladly gone down to Deidara's residence and began living with his younger brother there and then, not caring in the least about Ōnoki's protests. He had also taken a multitude of books, a small library's equivalent, along with him, saying that he wanted to improve while staying with his baby brother._

 _The wizened old man rubbed his wrinkled temples. "Have you found any bodies so far? Are you sure that the gas line was the cause of the explosion?" If there was one thing Ōnoki was certain about, it was that his apprentice was very tricky. A naturally born sly, cunning and mischievous fox, if you would._

 _"Not yet Tsuchikage-sama. But seeing as how Naruto-san was an Explosion release user, it is very likely that the initial explosion caused a second larger one. To put it simply, if he were to be caught in a deadly explosion, such a trigger that causes his body to detonate near instantly, causing his death… would be, to say the least, very explosive due to his Kekkei Genkai, ergo, the large explosion. But we are still searching as the discharge was very large and might have scattered their bones and other body parts very far away."_

 _The Tsuchikage grunted unhappily, "Then keep searching, there might be a sliver of a chance, no matter how small it is, that they might still be alive. If the Jinchuuriki is still alive, we cannot afford to lose the Yonbi upon the boy's death."_

 _"Hai, Tsuchikage-sama." Hyotaru quickly left to give word from the Tsuchikage to the shinobi to search for the Jinchuuriki through the endless piles of rock and rubble. The old man turned his back to whatever remained of the western district, sighing heavily._

 _"I'm getting too old for this shi-"_

* * *

 _Rounding the corner, a large, white and unnatural cockroach with black dots for eyes skittered quickly, ducking behind the intact houses at the edge of the west wing of Iwa. Even further away, two fingers stood straight up, forming the seal of half a ram. Naruto's grin stretched to that of one belonging to the face of a psychopath. And then he yelled out, his words never reaching the ears of the Tsuchikage as the boom that soon followed his words completely overwhelmed his voice._

 _"Katsu!"_

* * *

 _ **'!'**_

 _ **BOOM!** Another explosion occurred, shaking the ground for a second. The old man stumbled, caught off guard from the sudden bang. A row of buildings went down, the heavy material crushing several Shinobi._

 _"What the hell was that?!"_

 _"Wha-! Another explosion?!"_

 _"Gah!"_

* * *

 _Another strange cockroach found itself lodged beneath the piles of rubble from the original bombsite, beneath a recently promoted group of Iwa Jonins._

 _Then the safe word came, activating the creature's 'on' button._

 _"Katsu!"_

 _Suddenly the cockroach engorged, the centre of the white bug growing to massive proportions while it's tiny legs stayed the same size, wriggling furiously as it bloated up to the size of a balloon._

 _Glowing brightly, it ignited._

* * *

 _ **BOOOM!** And then another. Ōnoki turned back, watching as some of his men get buried beneath rubble. Some that had stood upon the original rubble piles were blown apart as the floor beneath them exploded, blocks of rocks ripping through their bodies as if they were made of wet tissue paper._

 _"ARGH!"_

 _Bricks the size of a grown man's fist came raining down upon most of his men. Many had their heads and limbs crushed as the wreckage slammed down upon them._

 _ **BOOM!**_

 _"AAAIEEE! MY LEGS! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!" One could infer from his obvious screams that one of them just lost both of his legs as the bomb detonated._

 _The old man fumed, just what in god's name was going on now?!_

 _"Tsuchikage-sama! The gas lines to the abandoned houses!" Oh god, he already knew what he was going to say without his commander even having to finish it. "They've all been cut! An-And the fires must have spread to the-"_

 _ **BOOOM!** Good god! Was he the only one that wasn't remotely senile here?! Even at his age?!_

 _The Tsuchikage pulled his commander down to eye level and unloaded a yell into the man's flinching face, shouting with his 'war-voice', "THEN PUT OUT THE FIRES, YOU DAMN NITWIT! GET MOVING!"_

 _"Ha-Hai, Tsu-Tsuchikage-sama!" The man squeaked, rushing off to instruct his men. Or what was left of his men. Half of the forces that came were either injured or dead, with the other half fumbling around in surprise, trying to put out fires and save their friends. The wrinkled skin on Ōnoki's fist tightened to the point it looked youthful again. A civilian was going to die at tomorrow morning's council meeting, and god wouldn't be able to spare them from this old man's wrath._

* * *

 _Naruto coughed violently, heaving as he ran. He didn't see the trashcan around the corner and slammed into it, buckling as he lost control of his legs as the blonde fell flat onto his front, his cheek slamming into the dirt ground hard. His little creations, all of which he had detonated remotely had gone off perfectly. Smiling tiredly, the teen pushed himself onto his back with his shoulder, groaning as his body took effect of chakra exhaustion. Months of practicing with the Kinjutsu he had stolen proved to be a wise decision. When Ōnoki had questioned him about his fingerless gloves, Naruto had told him it was a fashion statement, and the old man had dropped it immediately, not suspecting in the least that he had stolen Iwa's Explosion Corp Kinjutsu._

 _"Fuck… So close, rrgh!" Naruto growled and then coughed heavily, lurching forwards as he nearly spat his lungs out, "I don't think I can get out of here… Dei-chan…" Tears began to fall from his eyes, his lips quivering furiously as he tried not to cry. He didn't want to leave his little brother to the wolves, to let him think that Naruto had abandoned him. Fuck! He'd rather die for Deidara than have him think that his big brother abandoned him. He struggled to even move, his arms and legs being stubbornly uncooperative._

 _He was there! Right there! In the alley he had sent Deidara off before he ran around, sending his little cockroaches to do his dirty work. He was so close to Deidara, yet so far._

 _No. He couldn't die now! Not when he had Deidara to worry about! His head did its best to be lifted by his neck. Alas, his muscles refused to work with him, each movement causing nothing but pain as he strained to move. Incapable of holding it up any further, Naruto dropped his head back to the ground, eyes hazed as the darkness began to approach._

 _What a way to end his life, trapped in a desolate corner of Iwa, lying in garbage and being unable to move at all. He guessed that either Iwa Shinobi would get him first with the Kinjutsu he stole literally in his hands, or else the rats would first. He didn't know which one would suck more. Being tortured to give up information about where his brother was, information he would never give up, or being eaten alive by rats._

 _"I'm so fucking sorry, Dei-chan… Hope you can forgive your… Nii-chan, un." He gasped, suddenly finding it difficult to breath. "Thank god I gave him my books… that little trap… needs to read more…" Then his blue eyes closed._

 _As he fell into a state of unconsciousness, he didn't hear the sound of little feet rushing towards him, or feel the tiny arms scooping his arms up from underneath his armpits, dragging him down the alleyway._

 _Deidara's eyes were full of tears as he pulled his big brother away from Iwa, one small step at a time. He wouldn't let his big bro die here and now, and certainly not protecting him! He wanted to show Naruto that he could protect himself too! To be strong like him! Naruto couldn't leave now! The boy had foolishly decided to stay and wait for his big brother to return before he would run, not wanting to take the chance that Naruto wouldn't make it back. When he had heard the thump and heavy wheezing and gasping, he had frozen up before taking small quiet steps to the mouth of the alley. Then when he saw a familiar mop of blonde hair, the boy came charging, wanting to check on his big brother._

 _"Nii-chan never gave up on me, so I'll never give up on Nii-chan!" The boy muttered to himself through grit teeth. Boy, for how lean Naruto-nii was, he sure was heavy!_

 _And so, with each small tug to the larger body, Deidara eventually brought Naruto to the exit out of Iwa. The blonde boy smiled as the sun began to take its place in the sky, watching as his older brother's chest went up and down. They had escaped Iwa and were fine for now._

 _But the future had other plans in store, involving the unfortunate breakup of the two siblings, sending one to live in the Village Hidden in the Leaves while the other was sent to protect him amongst a group of dangerous and very powerful criminals with ill intent, almost all of whom were gorgeous, exotic and beautiful women._

 _Some might say that he was lucky, he on the other hand?_

 _Not so much. Well, that was until he managed to 'blow' them out of the water and steal their hearts._

* * *

 _Chapter end._

* * *

Hey all, a new update on this story.

Pretty strange that this only got 300 views (as of this posting), I'm wondering if something went wrong or if people just don't like the idea of a Explosion Release Deidara-esque Naruto.

But those who reviewed (thank you very much!) were lovely enough to direct me to go to B, which was the better choice now that I thought about it.

If you're going to get mad at how short this chapter was or if it was entirely in italics, I'll stop you right there.

I spent the whole morning and afternoon trying to come up with the next chapter, but could only manage 600+ words at most. But when I began to write the past for Naruto and Deidara's escape, it just flowed naturally. So sorry, I wrote 3372 words in less than 3 hours rather than 600+ at a higher 5.

Whole chapter is in italics because Verdana (the font I read fanfiction and write in in Microsoft Word) Italics looks fucking nice to my eyes as well as the fact that this entire thing is in the past. Mostly because Verdana italics is nice though.

Reviews are appreciated and well, everyone pretty much wanted to see !femAkatsuki, so I'll be trying my best to fit most of the gals into the harem without fucking up the storyline completely. Not sure how I'm going to do it with Pein, since he's (she's) the boss for Akatsuki, or Zetsu, but I'll try my best.

I already have a fluffy little tsundere scene for Kakuzu and Naruto in my head.

Note that fem Hidan won't be as shy as she will be in my other fic, TToK, and will definitely be more flirty.

ALSO BRO-CON DEIDARA, BUT THERE ISN'T YAOI. JUST A LOT OF BROTHERLY LOVE. I'M A LIL-BRO-CON, SUE ME. THAT SHIT'S KAWAII AS FUCK.

 **THANKS, DON'T FORGET TO FAVOURITE AND FOLLOW ON THE WAY OUT. LEAVE A REVIEW WHILE YOU'RE AT IT TOO!**

 **\- LOTS OF LOVE, URETHANE.**


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